


Burning Senses

by GalekhXigisi



Series: Menstrual fics [13]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Couch Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, It's actually p fluffy, Marjan is amazing, Men Crying, Menstruation, Mentioned Paul Strickland (9-1-1 Lone Star), Sleepy Cuddles, Trans Mateo Chavez (9-1-1 Lone Star)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23325070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: Mateo's menstrual comes early on a night off and Marjan is there to help.
Relationships: Mateo Chavez & Paul Strickland (9-1-1 Lone Star), Mateo Chavez/Marjan Marwani (9-1-1 Lone Star)
Series: Menstrual fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559251
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Burning Senses

**Author's Note:**

> For the Discord server, I love you fools. I've been meaning to write a one-shot for them for a long while now, I've just only now gotten around to it. Sorry it ended up bein' angsty.
> 
> Love y'all, Marjeo Trash gang

If anyone asked, Mateo would say it was a dumb little fluke played by whatever deity decided to grace the world with its presence the day it decided to compile a list of things that do and don’t toy with the mind. Fears, triggers, and the likes that came with life and everyone that’s experienced any sort of trauma can feel deep within their bones. 

Some live a life full of trauma, of fear, or things that make their throat clench tight and eyes and nose burn as they think it out. And, right now, Mateo is facing one of those shitty moments that, quite frankly, he is entirely certain is a painful trick pulled on him. 

He could pretend, he thinks, but there’s only so much one can advert the attention of to delay the inevitable crashing realization of it all. Pretending during this won’t stop the fact that the scent of blood is still thick in his mind, setting his chest alight with a familiar burning that’s overtaking his face, all the same, heart hammering against his ribs. A new weight presses against his chest, deep, heavy, and makes his breathing shaky as can be. 

He’s a  _ first responder, _ the scent of blood shouldn’t bother him as much as it does. 

But it’s different, he reasons with himself, when the blood is coming from a fixable wound instead of a natural thing that happens every month for the man. Hormones were a slow process, documentation even slower, which meant the process to get anything  _ official _ would be a hot minute that Mateo’s officially been waiting for for  _ years _ now. He always tries to tell himself that he can wait for a little while longer, that it’ll be nothing in the long run, but moments like these make his mind fall into a deep pit that he wishes he could escape the same way Paul had. 

There’s a knock at the door to his apartment, soft little cants of  _ one-two-three _ that Mateo’s familiar with, easily so. It’s nothing new, he’s very aware of it as he moves towards the door to open it. 

Marjan grins, wide and happy, before her expression falters into a somber smile, brows furrowing and eyes full of sympathy as she says, “Hey, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Something happen?” 

Mateo sniffles softly, moving aside to let her in. There’s no kiss on the cheek or little hug, just a sniffle from the shorter and swipe from his hand going across his cheeks, just beneath his eyes. He shakes his head, though it isn’t an act of denial, simply an attempt at shaking himself out of the momentary funk. “Actually, I was wondering if we could stay in tonight? Instead of going out?” 

Her voice lilts up as she confirms, “Of course, we can. Told you we should have just stayed in earlier today.” She tentatively turns towards him, expression somewhat quizzical and little worried, ready to pry if needed. As it appears, she finds the  _ if needed _ part necessary as she softly questions, “What’s wrong? You’ve been crying.” 

His stomach tightens at the little bit of prying. He trusts Marjan, wouldn’t trust anyone more. And she’s aware of the extra weight on his chest the same way everyone is aware of what used to be on Paul’s, their whole team sharing that knowledge. His are still present. It’s present now the same way the fear he felt this morning the second he felt any sort of cramp in his lower abdomen was, burning a harsh hole into his mind. He’s awfully sure Paul was distinctively aware of what was going on because he cut him off after two cups of coffee with morning with a tentative look that was probably far more comforting than Mateo wanted to admit at the time, given how much he had fussed, which only made Paul more incessant that he shouldn’t have any more. He hadn’t understood at the time, but damn did he understand now. 

Marjan takes a step closer, thumb wiping off one of the tears Mateo hadn’t noticed had started falling. He instantly leans into the touch, relaxing as she softly voices, “I’ll get something picked out to watch and then I’ll make us some crappy snack. You get changed into something comfortable, okay?” 

“But you’re the-” 

“I’m the guest, I know,” she smiles, eyes lighting up slowly, “but I did basically invite myself over, so it’s only proper that I at least deal with getting food while you get comfortable. We could maybe even order some food from that little shop down the street. They’re still open, right?” 

Mateo softly mutters, “I love your company,” though it gets lost in Marjan’s soft words. Her lips press against his forehead as she smiles softly. “Why are you on both movie  _ and _ food, anyway?” He smirks. 

“Because it’s my movie night,” she snarks in return, giving a gesture at Mateo’s bedroom door, a painted nail pointed at it, “Now, get changed while I find something to whip up and order food. Really, I mean it this time.” 

He smiles, laughing at the gentle shove she gives him after, nothing more than a pat at the spot between his shoulder blades. She’s right, though. He isn’t comfortable, still in his binder and clothes from the twenty-four-hour shift before. He’s tired, his bones aching and body refuting a lot at this very moment. He isn’t feeling great and he’s certain that anyone within a ten-mile radius is  _ very _ aware of that as he changes his clothes, throwing on one of the many large shirts Marjan’s left abandoned at his apartment since they’ve started dating, A pair of loose shorts and a hoodie follow, though he rolls the sleeves up out of a habit he’s had since he was seventeen, so it isn’t as if this isn’t out of the ordinary for them. 

By the time he’s walking out of the room, Marjan is sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone with a movie rolling on in the background, only just beginning on the opening credits, not even yet to the intro. He sits beside her, not minding as she brings a hand to his lower back, rubbing circles without a thought. Her eyes don’t leave her phone once. 

“Would you say gummy bears sounded good right now, or gummy worms?” 

“Worms,” Mateo replies without a second of hesitation. “Gummy bears are more of a tease than anything.” 

“I’m getting both,” she decides easily, a smile on her lips. “They’re not that bad.” 

“I never said they were bad.” 

“I once choked on a gummy worm.” 

“Did you try to slurp it like a straw?” He leans against her, head on her shoulder as he watches her thumb through items. “I tried that once. My cousin had to pull it out of my throat.” 

“And  _ you’re _ the first responder,” she snorts. 

He gives her a gentle shove, which she only laughs harder at. “He had to google how to do it  _ after _ I passed out.” 

Marjan finally turns towards him, head leaning over his as she teases, “You’re still alive and breathing, aren’t you?” 

“Well, I’d hope so,” he snorts, “because otherwise, something would probably be very wrong.” 

She only laughs, eyes crinkling. Mateo’s already aware that he adores the sound, but he still feels his heart hammer in his chest in a way it didn’t earlier. He smiles, softening, practically turning to putty within that instant. 

When the laughter dies down, Marjan pauses, her own eyes bright and expression soft as she peers at the other, taking him in the same way he takes her in. 

Marjan presses a gentle kiss to his forehead, moving back to whisper, “You’re looking at me like I hung the stars.” 

“Sorry,” he tells her, smile sharpening. He isn’t sorry, not in the least. 

The stress of the day dissolves, shitty movies played on repeat as they make fun of the plot, eating a ten-pound bag of gummy bears through the night, Mateo telling her, _ Worms versus bears in the gummy world paints a really messed up scene, _ which makes her laugh so hard that she has to run to the sink because she snorted water out her nose. They laugh so hard that their ribs turn tough and their eyes itch from tears. 

They do talk, though, when they finally lay down to sleep and Marjan has her arms wrapped around his waist, legs tangled, heads on each other’s shoulders. It’s not all that bad, now that Mateo’s far more relaxed and he no longer feels like sobbing at the mere thought of what he’ll inevitably have to face. He talks and Marjan listens, softly giving replies in whispers, keeping her voice down as if it’ll ruin the moment. Darkness blankets them the same way the thick duvet does, grounding them in the moment, a silent comfort for both that won’t relent. They’re both thankful for it. 

They fall asleep content, happy in a way that makes their chests warm and hearts full. Mateo wouldn’t have it any other way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Caffeine during menstruation is supposed to be bad but idk, I don't really care. 
> 
> I started off feeling hella bad with this 100% just being a venting fic, but I pulled an uno reverse card and made it soft and I am honestly feeling so much better now. 
> 
> Here's my writing Discord server! (unrelated to the server I'm referencing, lol)  
> https://discord.gg/eGkwayy


End file.
